A journey to embrace, explore, and honor the Freedom and Power inherent in active recovery.

No more shame...

No more shackles....

No more secrets.

The path--and the Power--are within. Be Free.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

'Everything for a reason'? Really!?!

ahhh..the 'hand of god' debuts....

Someone always brings up how incredible the
'hand of God' is that the same thing on their mind
was the topic (even when it's something as vague
as "trouble listening", which of course can be
generally applied to anything and everything.)

I appreciate that the idea of "No coincidences"
is appealing to people. After sometimes a lifetime
of chaos and indecision, they need some stability.
But this magical thinking that gets applied to
every single instance on the planet being a part
of the predetermined's just too nutty
for me.

Last week someone went on for ten minutes
about how his life going so well was a reflection
of God's pleasure with him (the person) listening
and doing what he was supposed to. I seethed.
How dare he? How dare he proclaim himself
more worthy than another? How dare he piss
on the memory of people who bought into the
lie of God and slaved over 'goodness' only to
never have anything to show for it.

Can you hear the brain cells bursting trying
to make sense of how every sprained toe,
burst blood vessel, public fart, missed bus,
snotty nose, bad meal, murder, rape, car
accident are in truth the divine will of mighty
Jesus? I understand wanting mythology to
save us from the chaos and randomness
and uncertainty, but....c'mon!

Things happen. They just do. Good things,
bad things, in-between things too. So here
we start with the misconception that everything
has purpose, and then go about using our
human minds to connect with what we assume
to be the God-head in order to seek reasoning
behind events we don't understand. Done, of
course, through the moralizing lens of religion;
What happened that you like is a gift from God.
What has happened that you don't like was
punishment from God...and now you must
set about on determining what you did wrong.

And then I remember why I'm there. To focus
on me. To not let things bother me or get me ill.
To allow others their own means--even if I
feel it is wrong--to stay afloat.

I still don't like it, but it came under his share,
so it was after all 'legit.'

(Having the Lord's prayer is still bogus
cuz that's part of the legit meeting and was
blessed by the group conscience deciding on
it, so that deserves my ire!)

Someone read "Acceptance" at the end
of the meeting the other night and I kind
of lost it. Please don't decide for me that
everything's fine! Sometimes it just isn't!
And I can still not drink over it!
Can I get an "Amen!"

But it's my hand --and mind--refusing to
take a drink. In spite of all the false info
AA tried to saddle me with.

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