(Well, one of them, anyway!)
One of the chief challenges I have found in becoming a
stronger person has to do with finding a proper balance
between a 'need' for other people and a need to be true
to self.
It's a daunting proposition to go up against the world, to
follow your own path when it so frequently places you on
the outskirts of the norm.
People tend to like what's secure, familiar, reassuringly 'same.'
Anything or anyone that goes outside those lines is cause
for discomfort, and therefore promptly avoided. Or attacked.
So the decision becomes choosing between self and others.
Well, certainly we can't sustain ourselves by looking out
for others, so basic survival tells us we have to look out for
self.
And yet, unless independently wealthy, the chance of being
able to truly live a separate life is rare.
So there has to be a compromise of sorts struck. Putting up
with others, overlooking nonsense, exchanging pleasantries,
all of the duplicity that comes from modern life is necessary to
some small degree, no matter how independently we live.
Even as I detach from the demands and wishes of all others
as regards my overall life (thoughts, actions, feelings,) I still have
to accommodate the outside world in reference to neighbors, law
enforcement, and other key areas.
There isn't much of an in-between when it comes to the social
world of choosing to live for others or self. Friends, family,
coworkers, lovers will all place demands and manipulate you
to further their own needs rather than support yours. Coming to
terms with that and desensitizing one's self is an ongoing process.
Aloneness is a reality of this planet.
But how much people are able to embrace that reality is up to
conditioning and stamina. Many may need the illusions of
social supports; putting up with family they can't stand rather
than being alone, enduring abusiveness rather than doing without
so-called friends, suppressing self to accommodate a smothering
spouse....we all make deadly decisions for our well being every
day.
It all comes down to trying to find that balance....and determining
what we are willing to tolerate.
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