A journey to embrace, explore, and honor the Freedom and Power inherent in active recovery.

No more shame...

No more shackles....

No more secrets.

The path--and the Power--are within. Be Free.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Beware Magic Beans

Beware any Promise of an 'Ultimate Truth.'
Or 'The' Answer.
If folks claim they have these and you must do
what they say in order to experience their greatness....
if these folks condemn you for being Lost
without their same sacred 'Insights'....
you might wanna run like Hell!

These folks have replaced one addictive and
compulsive disorder with another.
Spirituality is not paint-by-numbers,
and it can't be burrowed into someone's brain
by rote or influence.
It also, incidentally, is not requisite
to being recovered from active addiction.

Recovery and sobriety isn't reserved
for one group of ideals.

Healing isn't exclusive to one path.

The rigid notion that only one's own directive is
effective and acceptable is not only juvenile
and erroneous, it's dangerous.
It's a facet of addictive and compulsive sickness,
not Recovery.

And having one way of treating people who agree
with our methods, and a different way
of treating those who don't is,
at best, troublesome.
Little hypocritical, too.

So just remember to beware the stories of
magic beans.... avoid used car salesmen, snake oil
salesmen, and people who claim they have the answers for you.
That which seems too good to be true generally is.
And smiling faces only cover lies for a time.


'Kissy Poo' Time is Over

You can't be sedate, passive, and doe-eyed.

You have to jump in the Game,
cuz it'll for damned sure jump all over you.

Stand up,
stand tall,
speak up with a loud voice.

Walk on, even if fear slams against you.
Steady yourself; you can rely on no other support.

Create your own fight.
It's not inborn; you manufacture it
every day
with choices and courage and confidence.

Be your own light.

Embody the best traits of your heroes
rather than waiting for one to descend
or admiring them from afar.

This life is a fight.
Face it.
It is in you.


Tuesday, November 22, 2011

The Real Deal

Been a rough, rough couple of weeks;
lots of pressure from various points,
building to a point of....well, that's the
$64,000.00 question.

What comes next?

I'm at a frustration point where the
shit is hitting the fan. The point where
all the work and efforts seem to mean
nothing, and fate or reality (or whatever
you want to call Raw Life) are buffeting
me at every turn.

I would like to run away.
I would like to take a drink (for the first
  time in a long time.)
I would like an easy out.
I would like to do whatever it takes to stop
   feeling all this pain, angst, and confusion.

But I know that none of that will change
anything for the better. And so I stand firm.

None of those self-destructive courses of action
will do anything beneficial for me in the least.

This is the part of the story where I have to
pull up my boot straps and get loaded for bear,
because being conscious and ready and 'Doing
What I Can' are the only tools I have.

Like all of us, I have my test of fire to endure.

It's frightening, it's hard, it's confusing, but no
fantasies or false promises will alter that in any
way. It's just the way of the world, and there
are some times that are darker than others.

I wish there were someone listening to prayer.
I wish being good brought good back on you.
I wish things were clear and easy and discernible.
I wish people were reliable and true.
I wish distractions equalled solutions and peace.

But I am no longer a child, and such wishful
thinking is counter-productive and disabling.
We sink or swim on our own, and by our own
power. We either figure it out or suffer the
consequences for not knowing.

I know I'll be fine, despite not knowing
where the journey is heading. But seeing
things as they really are and trudging through
the raw emotions is tough.

That's not's not's not
worry. Just an acknowledgement that I'm
feeling the fear, and moving on anyway.

I choose not to go backwards, and I know
that I am capable of doing whatever I need to.

I am strong enough to endure whatever
comes my way.

I never knew that before.


Monday, November 14, 2011

Sharing Our True Selves

There's life inside, waiting to be set free....

Our happiness is proportionate to how true
we are, how genuine in expressing our selves.

If we have courage in looking, in seeing, in
expressing, we will find answers.

Life will start to happen in ways simple and

It doesn't have to be intricately dissected
and put in a box or labeled. It can just be
lived, wide open, by the seat of your pants.

"Courage is not the absence of fear.
It is acting in spite of it." - Mark Twain


Friday, November 11, 2011

Know Your Worth

It's always a losing game when you depend on
anyone outside of self to puff up your ego!

We all have to know our own worth, independent
of all others.

Don't give your power away!

Don't allow others to determine your value or
your limits.

Whenever anyone wants you to put your fate
in their hands (which is precisely what the sickies
in AA/NA try to convince you to do,) there's always
a catch, and it can never end well.

Don't fall victim to Intimidation tactics.

Don't let others catch you up in their Shame-based

Don't get tricked into doubting yourself.

Don't let others' Authoritative game-playing
manipulate you into listening to their spiel.
People who want control and influence over you
are NOT out for your good! No matter how pretty
they smile or how much they claim otherwise.

Don't be naive. Your well-being can't afford It.

People-pleasing and 'fitting in' is a losing proposition
for those with addiction and compulsivity issues.


"Of All the Crazy Horse Shit!"

In Programming, they say
"like, WOW! What better place to find comfort and
help with sickness than a bunch of other sickies?"

Pretty much anywhere!!!

Why on earth would other sick people
be the source for sanity and reason?
Of healing?
(some sicker by far; usually the sickest ones of all
stick with AA the longest, so deeply troubled and needy
and controlling and ego-ridden are they, ever-anxious to
sink their fangs in a new stray.)

You wouldn't ask a dying person how to get well from
a real disease.

You wouldn't ask another broken down car for a jump.

Even if some are actually doing what they say they are doing,
(and how would you actually know which sociopath to trust!)
all of those pronounced character defects
(lying, cheating, thieving, egotism, maniuplation,
sadism,  selfishness) are just under the surface ready
to pop up and sucker-punch you.

And since it's just like the Catholic Church up in there;
all they have to do is wax apologetic AFTER an infraction
and they're 'good to go.'
Nobody's worried one damned bit about your welfare.

So, as always, you better do it for yourself.
And that includes the foresight of
being cautious with whom you trust.

Why would you put faith or trust in a group of
folks that celebrate their brokenness,
promoting themselves as powerless and wretched and sick?

Dig out from under that rock.


Saturday, November 5, 2011

A (Not-So) new idea

If you put good thoughts in,
you get good thoughts out.
Simple enough, right?
But where do your good thoughts come from?

Do you supply them yourself, or
do you depend on others or places
or circumstance to receive them?
Are your good thoughts contingent upon
the approval or acceptance of outside forces?

You are intrinsically good and deserving.
Let no one convince you otherwise.
Love is not something to be doled out only
when behavior is deemed 'appropriate.'

Be your own best source of comfort and joy.
All others are fickle souls who will
use your looking to them for support as means of
manipulation and control.

No one can love you like you can yourself.
Learn how today.


Fitting In Vs. Being Fit

You know, lots of folks thought the world was flat.
  But some folks were smart enough to know it was round.
  (And brave enough to stand up and say so.)

Some folks think religion is a great idea.
  But some folks see it for the cancer it is, causing far
  more harm than good.

Lots of folks are hooked into believing the disease model
of alcohol and drug addiction.

They want you to Believe that "Being and Alcoholic"
(or an "Addict")  is not just A part of you, but that it IS
you, on a cellular, spiritual, unavoidable level.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Yes, alcohol has a physical addiction component.
But it is not Your Identity. It is not a demon that has
control over you. You are not powerless.

All of that outdated fairy tale hogwash is the most
unscientific, dangerously voodoo crap that the modern
world has ever heard...and yet people have fallen for it.

And now it is such a Monster of a Culture, that those
who know better are afraid to speak up, for fear of
being squashed by the bullying majority with their
intimidation and spin control.

Don't be intimidated.

If you know the truth, don't let the Monolith that is
12 Step force feed you a glass of fear and loathing.

Love yourself and Reason enough to stand against
the lies. Your well being--and others'--depends on it.

What you put IN is Destined to come OUT

Some places say they don't like expectations
because they set us up for failure. I agree.

So let's address just some of the expectations
of 12 Step groups; that you must subscribe to
their 'philosophy' of not being worth much, of
having addict/alcoholic be Your Identity, of
being Needy of others (and a Great Big Sky-
Daddy) in order to muddle through life happy
or sober.

Those are some pretty crazy, pretty stringent,
pretty debilitating expectations, and they don't
seem all that designed to foster personal strength. Hmmnnn...imagine that!

A group that must make you dependent on it
in order to survive;
*  using shame to manipulate and control
*  beating down your self worth
*  promoting self-doubt
*  promoting dependence on them and them alone
*  deriding all other answers as false
*  tricking you into thinking you are without power

Don't buy the hype!
Know your worth!

Be free of self-defeating thoughts and the people
who would like you to subscribe to them.

Shame-based 'Recovery' is just another addiction
to something 'forever and ever.' Be free.


'RECOVERY' is NOT a Group Activity

(they're green with envy!)

Looking to other people for salvation
or recovery is like getting a surrogate
to receive a blow job for you;
There's no point because it has
nothing to do with you!

It's all about promoting their
needs and agendas, under
the illusion of 'selflessness' and

Only YOU can determine
what's best for you.

Only YOU can DO what
needs doing.

Only YOU can respect
and appreciate your own
self and the unique path
you have to follow.

Being led around by the hand
is what little children need.

Be your own person;
cut the chord from
Group Think.
It never ends well!

YOU can do anything
you put your mind to.
It has always been so;
you simply never knew it.


Thursday, November 3, 2011

If This World Were Mine....oh, wait! It is!

It all springs forth from within.
Everything begins with a thought.

I can determine the kind of life I live
by the very thoughts I tend to (and respond to,)
by the words I use, the people I associate with, and
the way I act.

Reality is almost a moot point.
Any manner of discomfort or difficulty
can be overcome by Deciding to do so.
By toughening up and Becoming Strong.

I can Choose that no sideways comment is going
to derail my Decision to have a great day (No Matter What.)

I can Choose that I am the most important person
in My World, the center of My Universe,
and only me and My Path is worthy of my time.
I will not allow disrespect or disregard
to influence me.

I Determine what sort of day I want to have,
and everything else unfurls from that Choice.

I am not prey or victim to any person, place, or thing.
I am a Survivor.
I am Determined to be at Peace.
I Choose Empowerment.
I am Connected to My Needs
and I act in accordance with them.
If not me, then who?

My world is a byproduct of my level of Love for Self.

The disaster of the past was a reflection of this
in a negative context.

Now, my Esteem and Confidence and Love
Determines a new reality,
from a new directive.

While the world might fall around me,
I will be at Peace.
I will be Whole.
I will be Strong.

And thus, it is so.