"My Burden is Greater than Your Burden"

"I've looked at life...from both sides now..."

"Each addiction is incredibly unique, and there are key

differences in how they manifest, disable, and are overcome."

vs.

"All addictive behavior is essentially the same, coming from

the same place and needing the same basic approach."

***

Most people seem to have developed an 'either/or' 

philosophy when it comes to comprehending addiction

behavior. I'm more of a mind that both statements or

approaches have merit.

We live in complicated times, after all. A world of greys

and inconsistencies and ever-developing new concepts

and problems. And certainly complexity has always

been an aspect of addiction. Hell, if the world were 

'black-and-white,' addiction might not exist.

But at the same time, life is rather unchanging.

Basic truths (inhumanity, longing, cyclical politics)

have remained the same since the beginning of civilization.

All addicts either begin as--or at some point become--

dissatisfied that we left the womb. The world for us is

a harsh and unaccommodating place that we feel

incapable of enduring--despite 

how well we might appear to be managing or

maintaining on the outside.

Yet people with addictions/addictive tendencies are

made up of a multitude of people, from various

backgrounds, education, cultures, orientations, etc.

I'm not a fan of "who's suffered worse?" fights; They're

counter-productive, divisive, and they embolden

Victim thinking. Yes, heroin is a frightening and

destructive drug. Nicotine is insidious in its grip. But

sugar is powerfully addictive to the mind and body

as well--and highly dangerous to health. Gambling

and porn addiction behavior can have the same level of 

devastating effects as a drug binge.

What ties us together, all of us outsider addicts, is the

base mentality and psyche that leads us to addiction

in the first place. Because we might all come to our

drug(s) of choice in myriad ways and at different ages,

but the desperation to escape the pain of reality is

usually a pretty solid connection.

Regardless of whether you get high off of alcohol, sex,

food, cocaine, danger, cigarettes, spending money

or snorting fumes, the behavior is in response to the

same type of emotional stimuli. 

Once a high had been produced even one time, that 

chemical reaction and release has an impact on the 

body. Those neural pathways are hard-wired anew,

now associating these thoughts and feelings  

with the specific behavior and pay-off 

that produced it. The die is cast.

For a food addict, one difficulty unique to us is

being surrounded by the weapon of choice every

moment of the day. There's even encouragement

to partake--and over-indulge. For a meth addict,

it's affordable enough and readily available so

that any time you happen to be feeling low or 

anxious, there's potentially a (bad) solution to

those feelings ready to jump at you.

Particulars vary, but impact and

drive do not.

Behind all of the longing is the neurosis of 

hurting people. Dissatisfaction and pain are at the

heart and core of every person driven by an

addiction. Despite differences, we are the same.

Recognizing this could do a lot to overcome 

the illusion of separateness that keeps us from

finding allies and understanding in a greater 

number of places.

***