A journey to embrace, explore, and honor the Freedom and Power inherent in active recovery.

No more shame...

No more shackles....

No more secrets.

The path--and the Power--are within. Be Free.

Monday, October 23, 2017

"My Burden is Greater than Your Burden"

"I've looked at life...from both sides now..."

"Each addiction is incredibly unique, and there are key
differences in how they manifest, disable, and are overcome."


"All addictive behavior is essentially the same, coming from
the same place and needing the same basic approach."


Most people seem to have developed an 'either/or' 
philosophy when it comes to comprehending addiction
behavior. I'm more of a mind that both statements or
approaches have merit.

We live in complicated times, after all. A world of greys
and inconsistencies and ever-developing new concepts
and problems. And certainly complexity has always
been an aspect of addiction. Hell, if the world were 
'black-and-white,' addiction might not exist.

But at the same time, life is rather unchanging.
Basic truths (inhumanity, longing, cyclical politics)
have remained the same since the beginning of civilization.

All addicts either begin as--or at some point become--
dissatisfied that we left the womb. The world for us is
a harsh and unaccommodating place that we feel
incapable of enduring--despite 
how well we might appear to be managing or
maintaining on the outside.

Yet people with addictions/addictive tendencies are
made up of a multitude of people, from various
backgrounds, education, cultures, orientations, etc.

I'm not a fan of "who's suffered worse?" fights; They're
counter-productive, divisive, and they embolden
Victim thinking. Yes, heroin is a frightening and
destructive drug. Nicotine is insidious in its grip. But
sugar is powerfully addictive to the mind and body
as well--and highly dangerous to health. Gambling
and porn addiction behavior can have the same level of 
devastating effects as a drug binge.

What ties us together, all of us outsider addicts, is the
base mentality and psyche that leads us to addiction
in the first place. Because we might all come to our
drug(s) of choice in myriad ways and at different ages,
but the desperation to escape the pain of reality is
usually a pretty solid connection.

Regardless of whether you get high off of alcohol, sex,
food, cocaine, danger, cigarettes, spending money
or snorting fumes, the behavior is in response to the
same type of emotional stimuli. 

Once a high had been produced even one time, that 
chemical reaction and release has an impact on the 
body. Those neural pathways are hard-wired anew,
now associating these thoughts and feelings  
with the specific behavior and pay-off 
that produced it. The die is cast.

For a food addict, one difficulty unique to us is
being surrounded by the weapon of choice every
moment of the day. There's even encouragement
to partake--and over-indulge. For a meth addict,
it's affordable enough and readily available so
that any time you happen to be feeling low or 
anxious, there's potentially a (bad) solution to
those feelings ready to jump at you.

Particulars vary, but impact and
drive do not.

Behind all of the longing is the neurosis of 
hurting people. Dissatisfaction and pain are at the
heart and core of every person driven by an
addiction. Despite differences, we are the same.
Recognizing this could do a lot to overcome 
the illusion of separateness that keeps us from
finding allies and understanding in a greater 
number of places.


Sunday, October 22, 2017

Revelations: Chapter Infinity

The old, familiar groove of
comfortable habit.

It's a seductive black hole 
masquerading as
a kindly, promising

A fond recollection,
it whispers; "That thing that's
been missing...that meaning
you wish to secure."

After luring you in with its
distorted offerings,
it/he/she is quick to turn
Only now will it 
reveal that it is only
our own emptiness 
reflected back on us.

Laid bare, that old and
constant companion
is exposed as the 
vile and thoughtless
we always
(somewhere inside)
knew it was.

Facades and lies
and broken promises
exposed to reason
and clarity
in the bright light of day.

oh, I recognize you
nowadays, you smirking
But I see you
for what you truly are.


Friday, December 27, 2013

If you're following a path prescribed by
thousands of other 'like-minded' individuals
who feel the need to rely on repetition
and wishful thinking to maintain their sobriety....

maybe it's time to question the path you're on.
Not too many people find
the answers to their personal needs
in adhering the broad, well-worn paths
of strangers.



If you're putting 'faith'
in fictional constructs and
spiritual mumbo-jumbo,
rather than facts or reason....
then you have very much
given over responsibility
for your own life
and the consequences
of actions and choices.



Thursday, July 25, 2013

Do you treat the surface or the core?

What is addiction?
Trying to fill a void.
Running from the frightening.
Losing ourselves.

So what causes void?
Lack of appreciation....compassion...

And those things can't come from outside
sources, lest we always be dependent.

We need a source of inspiration--
and unless we transform into that
self-sustaining source, learning to provide
for ourselves, we will always be seeking.

Behind the addiction is the reason for the addiction.

The past brought us to where we are...

but our present self can be whatever we determine.


Knowing where to look


It's within you...

not a room full of strangers,
a book,
or some intangible outside presence..

Tap into it--
Discover it--