Okay.....deep breath.
I'm not going to do any more anti-AA posts on
here. I still maintain my perspective on the problems
of the group and the dangers it poses, but I have made those clear.
Here on this blog is my experience within the group for all to see.
Others who feel the sting of surviving the group (and
not having found support) can realize they are not alone.
They can find out about alternatives.
They can gain strength knowing their discomfort is not unfounded.
Newcomers can be forewarned and forearmed,
and less naive about what is presented to them about the group,
its people, and its purpose.
But I will not be devoting any more time and energy,
nor will I dwell on the pain experienced there.
I have to be willing to release it and move on.
My own personal bitterness with the
experience cannot be clung to; cannot remain
a status quo. Even those that wronged me the most
(or, in their likely opinion, 'those I perceive have
wronged me the most') are, by virtue of their
deep-seated need, just other hurting people
trying to keep afloat.
I struggle every day to look past our differences and
acknowledge their humanity and need, despite
the depth of discord.
It has been hard for me to let go of the anger and frustration
of seeing what seems to be intentional cruelty,
self-preservation, and deep denial of responsibility.
But others' actions are not for me to edit, even as they
may try to edit mine.
I don't want to be responsible for causing anyone else pain,
even while preventing them from hurting others.
For the record; as angry as I've been,
I still meditate every day that those I
am hurt by will be well, cared for,
contented, and find all they need.
There's so much more.
