Saturday, September 10, 2011
how much time is sufficient to devote to standing by them?
Continuing their education? Updating and renewing them?
Before setting them forth into the good night.
I had someone tell me I had been a 'waste of their time'
because I didn't comply with their particular ideals on how
to remain sober. That hurt a lot at first, but it's honest from
their perspective. It's fair that we get to decide who is and
isn't worthy of our time and attention.
And in the long run, the brutality did so much more to open
my eyes than any erstwhile friendship ever could have.
How many times do we let an active addict relapse and give
them comfort and care before cutting the strings with tough
love? How many chances do we give a child to learn a new
procedure before cutting them off at the knees? How many
times do we pretend compatibility when our efforts are being
wasted on someone who doesn't jive with us?
Life is 100% about survival; survival of the Fittest. There
are no second chances and there is no prize for second
place. So it's the natural order that we either sink or swim
on our own. We can't depend on kindness, compassion,
a handout or support in the scheme of things.
That's why the dismissal of this friend was the greatest thing
that ever happened to me.
Instead of giving me a fish, I was forced to go and learn to
fish on my own. If we truly want to help others, this is
precisely what we must do; cut the apron strings. Let it
work out on its own. We have to train others to be independent,
instead of making them dependent on us and our support.
Creating dependency of a new sort is just furthering the
addict mindset. Replacement and substitution do not make
for effective tools. Spiritual welfare is much less effective
than spiritual warfare.
We are alone. Forget humans being pack animals. Forget
the illusions of a society of liars and frauds. We've got what's
on our backs and in our hearts; nothing more, nothing less.