"Hi folks! Welcome to the Bill & Bob show!
I'm Bill Wilson, and even though Bob here and me are
both dead, I still maintain a stranglehold over
the group, along with little baby Jesus, from beyond the
grave! It's all good--just don't drink over it.
(Well, nothing but the Kool-Aid, anyway!)
I gotta give myself props, cuz, ya
know, only an egotistical genius could come up
with a plan for promoting his own views,
getting his own ideas immortalized,
being considered a hero, and being
worshipped his own self...while carrying off
the illusion of selflessness in the process!
What are the odds! LOL!
Anyway, come on down to the Church of AA,
and fake your way through it long enough
to get to that beautiful Thirteenth Step!
Whooooo-wheee, it is some kind of worth it!
We call it "Fucking Your Way to
a Fake Recovery," but the censors had some kind
of problem with that.
I'm not so much for 'Truth in Advertising' anyway,
so no big.
It feels good to live-it-up in a second childhood
of every degradation except booze, since
I bypassed my real childhood as a horrible,
godless, selfish, drunk bastard.
(Or did I? The brain cells are rusty.)
But now, I get to foist all my crap on y'all
and use up your well of innocence!
Ah, life is good.
Come on down to your local AA clubhouse
so we can have our way with you, too.
If we don't have fresh meat,
we can't feed the Lions, baby!
Uh, sorry Bob...no time for you to chime in today!"
***
