Acts of Kindness

July 21

Acts of Kindness

Small acts of kindness allow me to touch souls with another person - to reach out over the great divide and brush for a moment the hand and heart of another. An act of kindness is never wasted. It benefits the giver as much or more than the receiver. Anyone who gives with the heart strengthens that muscle within themselves; it is the aerobic training of the spirit. I will not expect soul to just enter my life by chance. I will prepare myself, clean the vehicle that is me, resolve conflicts that tie my mind up and drain my energy. When I am less self-centered, I am able to take the person-hood of another into consideration.

I enjoy being kind for kindness' sake.

And this more human love (which will consummate itself infinitely, thoughtfully and gently, and well and clearly in binding and loosing) will be something like that which we are preparing with struggle and toil, the love which consists in the mutual guarding, bordering and saluting of two solitudes.

-Rainer Maria Rilke

**************************************************
from the Daily Reflection from the In The Rooms website

Unshackled

I have been trying a bit of a new tactic this last week or so,
involving sort of a 'fast-food' meditation and focus technique.
I reduce everything to brass tax, most urgent need, and just
do what I can moving forward...while remaining conscious
of the need for flexibility and flow.

As a result, the inordinate details that normally flood my
OCD brain are less evident (and I dismiss them adamantly
when they assert themselves) and I have been less stressed.

Less stressed, even as the reality of illness, pain,
joblessness, imminent homelessness, uncertainty,
poverty, being a small cog (circumstantially,) and
deteriorating world conditions loom large. I am
focused on being at peace, not letting the specifics
bog me down.

I am learning emotional detachment from the negative,
and that it has a place in things. Without becoming
numb or isolating. That's crucial for me.

No. Big. Deals.

And I have continued to do what I can and take steps
to take care of business. Encouraging myself, being my own
best friend, no longer expecting things of other people,
realizing my strength in the midst of any situation...these
have all given me a better sense of accomplishment
at the end of the day. I am more realistic about my needs,
wants, and goals.

As I worry less about meeting expectations (either mine
or others,) I am finding more freedom to get through the
day, and, (perhaps not surprisingly) a greater peace.
I end up getting done what needs to get done.

I am powerful. But I don't need to be caught up in hardly
any of what I worry about. I relinquish the world's shame
and demands of me. I will attend to my own needs this day.
I will do what I can for another. That is a powerful thing.

And the more I focus on doing for myself, the less I
ever even consider the possibility of drink or drug. My
mind is filled with other cares, my body knows what is
good for it, my spirit wants strength and freedom.

Moving On

Okay.....deep breath.

I'm not going to do any more anti-AA posts on

here. I still maintain my perspective on the problems

of the group and the dangers it poses, but I have made those clear.

Here on this blog is my experience within the group for all to see.

Others who feel the sting of surviving the group (and

not having found support) can realize they are not alone.

They can find out about alternatives.

They can gain strength knowing their discomfort is not unfounded.

Newcomers can be forewarned and forearmed,

and less naive about what is presented to them about the group,

its people, and its purpose.

But I will not be devoting any more time and energy,

nor will I dwell on the pain experienced there.

I have to be willing to release it and move on.

My own personal bitterness with the

experience cannot be clung to; cannot remain

a status quo. Even those that wronged me the most

(or, in their likely opinion, 'those I perceive have

wronged me the most') are, by virtue of their

deep-seated need, just other hurting people

trying to keep afloat.

I struggle every day to look past our differences and

acknowledge their humanity and need, despite

the depth of discord.

It has been hard for me to let go of the anger and frustration

of seeing what seems to be intentional cruelty,

self-preservation, and deep denial of responsibility.

But others' actions are not for me to edit, even as they

may try to edit mine.

I don't want to be responsible for causing anyone else pain,

even while preventing them from hurting others.

For the record; as angry as I've been,

I still meditate every day that those I

am hurt by will be well, cared for,

contented, and find all they need.

There's so much more.

Bullies

The following are excerpts from an excellent site
(www.bullyonline.com) with information on how to
spot an individual with a tendency to bully, as well
as an organization with a bent towards bullying
(a prime example of how the already-toxic AA
can be further corrupted by virtue of an especially
bad apple in the barrel.)

Those that are loudest and unflinching have far more
impact and influence than those that are kind and loving.

Note how the aspects relate to the specific problems
of AA and what it seeks to do to people who attend.

Characteristics of an individual who bullies:

·  is a control freak and has a compulsive need to control
everyone and everything you say, do, think and believe; for
example, will launch an immediate personal attack attempting
to restrict what you are permitted to say if you start talking
knowledgeably about psychopathic personality or antisocial
personality disorder in their presence -- but aggressively
maintains the right to talk (usually unknowledgeably) about
anything they choose. Serial bullies despise anyone who enables
others to see through their deception and their mask of sanity

·  displays a compulsive need to criticise whilst simultaneously
refusing to value, praise and acknowledge others, their achieve-
ments, or their existence

·  is also quick to belittle, undermine, denigrate and discredit
anyone who calls, attempts to call, or might call the bully to account

·  gains gratification from denying people what they are entitled
to when called upon to share or address the needs and concerns of
others, responds with impatience, irritability and aggression

http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/serial.htm

Most organisations have a serial bully. It never ceases
to amaze me how one person's divisive, disordered,
dysfunctional behaviour can permeate the entire
organisation like a cancer." Tim Field

There are dynamics related to the art of bullying and
how it effects any group 'normal' behavior. The author
promotes that targets of workplace bullying are not a
random selection, but rather specifically chosen individuals
who refuse the 'company' norms (the unique and
unconscious rules of a work system.)

"Abusive work systems often mimic dysfunctional families,
and employees adopt similar behaviors at work that they
maintained in their own families. If their personal behavior
patterns are far different from the norms," Hare says, "then
these are the people that get picked on the most. The people
who have their own ideas and speak out, they can be pretty
severely abused."

http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/workabus.htm

Why all the "AA bashing"?

ahhh...so cute...so 'innocent'...

it must be harmless!

So, for the record, and to respond to a handful of pouty
critics, I'm addressing why I spend so much focus on the
'bashing' (emphasis theirs) of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Well, let's Keep It Simple.

A.A. is a destructive and insidiously dangerous mis-used
tool that destroys as many lives as alcohol abuse itself.

It is a substitute addiction, and no, it is not a 'good one.'

It is a celebration of pretense and illusion, clinging to
dreamy ideals while avoiding realities and actual needs.

It sets people up to fail. It sets people up to be weak
and dependent. It creates a bullying and intimidation that
says you are 'less than' in its absence. It sets up people
to use externals to make themselves stronger and able to
face challenges.
(Hmmm....that seems familiar.)

I offer reasons why AA is a bad choice.
I promote other means of achieving sobriety.
I recount the horrible experiences I had and what I
witnessed  in the cult.
I 'attack' AA because AA has set itself up as a venerable
provider of something that it is not, and yes, I have taken
it upon myself to set the record straight so that no more
people have to be hurt by their many, many lies and
delusions.

I'm still against alcohol abuse. And drug abuse. And
religious addiction. And dependent relations. And
ego-minded controlling actions which intimidate and
shame scared, hurting people. And misrepresenting
truth. And substitutional addiction. And hypocrisy
and double standards.

Alcohol is not bad; alcohol abuse is 'bad.'
People are not bad; self-destructive behavior is 'bad.'
AA is thought to have started off halfway okay, but
has been twisted and reduced to a fanatical religion
that avoids rational thinking and truth. No, it was
always a means of expanding the Christian doctrine
stranglehold under another auspices.

AA is not used as a springboard for getting on your
feet and getting well. It is used as an indoctrination
to gain members, for without fresh blood the host
will wither and die. Thus the hyperactive pounce
on newcomers.

A holding pattern of mindless regurgitation is not
healthy, recovery, spiritual, or 'godly.' It is in fact
a bastardization of all those things. In life, change
and growth are the constant; if AA is a spiritual
kindergarten (which is being kind,) why does no
one ever graduate and MOVE ON!?!?

IF AA simply 'worked' for teaching people who like
the idea to change for the better--separate to
themselves--then so be it! But the entire organization
is about religious indoctrination and subversion,
which of course requires targeting new recruits
and repetitively demeaning and subjecting them to
lies. So much for autonomy. No wonder there's a
code of secrecy and silence.

You don't have to be religious or join AA to get well
from addictive and compulsive living. That is my
message; AA is at the foreground of disseminating
the antithesis of that message, and therefore needs
to be discredited and opposed.

Until their subterfuge and dangerousness are common
knowledge, I will continue to speak out.

Thanks for the request for clarity!

Why is AA a cult?

Well, an attacking dog isn't 'actually' safe just because
a guidebook tells you it 'is,' and AA is not a lovey-dovey
Godly program for helping and healing just because they
promote themselves as such (annnnnd have enough pull
and power and prominence to scare most folks from
standing up against them.)

But here's a good piece posted by "Raysny" on the
Yahoo! Question noards, in response to the 'question'
of whether or not AA qualifies.

***************************************

When they told me that if I left I would die, I had my first

doubts about the program.

*George Vaillant, member of AA's Board of Trustees, calls AA a

 cult in his book, "The Natural History of Alcoholism Revisited" on

page 266:
"AA certainly functions as a cult and indoctrinates its members in
ways common to cults the world over."

*AA historian, Dick B calls AA a cult.

*AA critic, Orange, calls AA cult:
The Cult Test:
http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-cult.html

I call it cult-like or cult-lite. Mainly because if I call it

a cult, people stop listening.

Whether it is a cult or not is irrelevant. Is it a destructive cult?

It does seem to meet the criteria set by Lipton for a a destructive cult:
-Milieu Control
-Mystical Manipulation
-Demand for Purity
-The Cult of Confession
-The "Sacred Science"
-Loading the Language
-Doctrine Over Person
-Dispensing of Existence
http://www.freeminds.org/psych/lifton.htm

Here's what others think:

The Cult Called A.A.
http://www.moonmac.com/Cult_Called_AA.html


The Twelve Step Cult:
http://www.bee.net/cardigan/attic/guest09.htm

Alcoholics Anonymous: Of Course It’s a Cult!:
http://www.positiveatheism.org/rw/ofcourse.htm


The copyright on the Big Book lapsed, a person can copy

it to their heart's content, even publish their own copy of it.

Source(s):

owner of the Yahoo group "without_aa":
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/without_aa/

AA's True Legacy

The Apostles of the Divine Reich

So, what are folks left with, in the grand scheme?

After the coffee pots are cleaned and the lights dimmed.

After the factions break up to gossip and seduce and
engage in all their existing compulsive addictions and
distractions.

After the posturing and lying and self-promotion and
pandering and typical church-impressions have been
doled out.

After newcomers and sensible folk and court appointees
have ceased attending.

The legacy of AA's doctrine, that sticks with a 'person
with alcohol addiction as a result of underlying problems,'
is as follows:

* You are a weak and powerless person.

* You are not strong enough to manage your own life.

* You are morally transgressed and a bad person.

* You are a sinner and a godless person.

* You are without the truthfulness to see what is good.

* You have made a fatal decision to leave the Program.

* You are sentenced to a life of constant drinking.

* You will never be free of the yoke of alcoholism.

* You have a 'disease' and you can't help yourself.

* You are guilty and shameful and confused.

* You cannot trust yourself.

* You cannot recover on your own or without
   spiritual transformation.

* You are not honest enough to be healed/saved.

* You are not smart enough to know what's good and right.
(or, You are 'too smart' for your own good.)

* You are not worthwhile on your own; you need an
eternal, external crutch to be okay.

CONGRATULATIONS!You are a graduate of the most effectively disabling
mind-control cult in the world!

It's the message that keeps on giving! Spreading like
a cancer throughout the land.

The ultimate Pyramid Scheme; Human Lives and souls
are the price of your acceptance and 'progression!'

Because if God 'Himself' is the (purported) co-author
of the divine Big Book, who are lowly, alcoholic, sinning
YOU to think you know anything about your own welfare?

You stupid, dishonest, egotistical, irresponsible, lacking,
immoral piece of garbage you!

Get in line with the shaming and authoritative process
and get your ass controlled!

(Translation of AA material exclusive courtesy of
Truth in Advertising.)