RUNAWAY SLAVE

A journey to embrace, explore, and honor the Freedom and Power inherent in active recovery.



No more shame...

No more shackles....

No more secrets.



The path--and the Power--are within. Be Free.





Showing posts with label expectations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label expectations. Show all posts

Saturday, June 1, 2013

The Dangers of Heightened Expectations


We are all of us-- in every way, and every sense--
damaged goods. Not worth any less or without
prospect of living good lives, but let's be frank;
Damaged...as anyone alive on this planet is.

There can be progress, but there is no mystical
transformation or supernatural healing. If reason
and perspective are tossed aside, mind-over-matter
and fanaticism can provide a new high that lasts
as long as an individual is willing to feed it, but that
is not the same as the false and misleading promise
of a reincarnated hooplah.

People born and raised in extreme conditions of
conflict, abuse, and neglect will never truly shed the
after-effects of such a living. We can choose to
have a life, and it can be better than we perhaps
imagined, but the scars stay with you.

To offer people blind, blanket hope for hope's sake
is cruel and defeatist. When people do all the work
prescribed by people in 'support groups' and find
themselves staring into the same despondent mirror,
that's the point where adherence to dogma is supposed
to hold sway over the individual and 'help them' start
'witnessing' the mirage.

"Oh--oh, yeah...I see it, too! It's just like you described!
Yes, I wanted it, and now it's here! "

These primitive social indoctrinations are fairly simple
and easily spotted; insinuation and manipulation employed
on a desperate and vulnerable person. Doting illicits warmth.
Repetition seals the deal.

The truth is, I personally will never again be able to let
someone else get close to me.

I'm only drawn to manipulative, dark-hearted bastards
who can't be trusted; nice guys don't register.

Those things are hard-wired into me no matter how many
hours of therapy or meditation I indulge in. Now, I've learned
how to identify and overcome immersion into these sick
habits, but the basis of what I feel will never change. So
I adjust my expectations for life.

But to suggest to folks that positive thinking and
repetitive thoughts will do any more than create a short-term
distraction is disingenuous. And to create the idea that a
bright, shining salvation is-a-coming is a straight-up lie.

But that's the typically selfish and self-serving alkie for ya....

It's not about giving up--it's about averting denial of the
fact that life is rough and will take some serious dedication.
Warts and all, you have to know thy self....and only then
can you be set free.

A dog and pony show won't change what's under the waters.

Game-playing doesn't make anybody a winner.

*************************************************

Friday, June 15, 2012

Through a Cracked Lens, Darkly



Most people suffering from addictions have
difficulty with discernment and attachment issues.
And, as always, the form they take is one extreme
or the other.


With Programs or Groups, there is a huge danger
of becoming enmeshed...to become obsessed or
singularly focused, blocking out all else (and all
alternate choices.)

Following a regiment and a structure becomes an
onus rather than an aid.There's a big difference between involvement,
socialization, interaction...and its polar opposites,
obsession, dependence, and saturation.


Singularity, balance, and a full life are healthy
choices for a person with addiction issues.

Moderation and sane, easy, flexible parameters
can do far more good than a pattern-filled, rigid,
overly-demanding rigor which keeps expectations
high.

******************************************



Thursday, March 15, 2012

Flexibility


"Bend it don't break it!"

Finding a way to 'get along' without
compromising individual needs and rights
is a tough fit.

Pretty much everyone has an agenda
that doesn't include your well-being,
and it is every person for themselves.
(Don't let anyone's smile or deftness
fool ya otherwise!)

But allowing for people's inadequacies,
inconsistencies, idiocies, illnesses, and
illogic can be taxing if we take it on a
case-by-case or specifics basis.

For self-preservation, the art of being
cool about stuff is a time-saver and a
stress-saver. You can't change most
things, so keeping your condemnation
secret and keeping your comments
restrained is possibly the best way to
avert conflict.

Yeah, sometimes conflict is needed to
protect your boundaries and lay things out
straight for folks, but not as an every-day
all-day venting.

Wanting things a certain way and
expecting things to turn out a certain way
are two completely different ball parks.
Choosing between them, and recognizing
that there is not always going to be
reconciliation, is a step towards peace.

The choice to avoid craziness and conflict is
taking power and remaining in control.
Not everything works out how we want;
how we respond to that reality is the maker
of new worlds.

***