Addict-Think is Marshmellow Logic

Even when an out-of-control ego is the primary
underlying problem for an individual's bad behavior
and addictive/compulsive mindset, the logical
conclusion is not to surrender all self will!


This sort of extremist ping-ponging of positions
is typical of the all-or-nothing mindset of an addict.


Why not develop a little moderation?


Self-will is an aspect of the survival mechanism
inherent in all human beings. To dispose of this,
to subvert one's self to touchy-feely submissiveness,
is to sign your own death warrant.


Besides, I hardly think there can be only one
overriding factor in the reasons that people suffer
from addiction and behavioral neurosis. Again; the
attempt to over-simplify is really reaching for easy
fixes and pipe dreams....and setting one's self up for
relapse and failure.


Attempts to deny one's self; desire, need, want,
feelings, drive --in totality--(which is, of course, what
all religions promote, for their own good!) is the worst
possible advice for an addict.


Duplicity and suppression never work out well with us!


Self-control, moderation, balance, tempering, and
refraining from making a 'battle for the fate of a soul in
the lingering conflict between god and the devil' are
probably good places to start to heal a human being.


Extremism is the enemy of all addicts; putting additional
pressures and false notions into play are counter-productive
in recovery.


What sense does it make to go full tilt from maniacal
egotism and self-involvement to complete immersion in
selflessness (or at least the illusion of such?) Ever seen
the aftermath of fad dieting? Or cold turkey detox? Or
fanatical involvement in new thinking? It's a sure way to
fail.


Denying self is dangerous, unrealistic, and unhealthy.
It's also a big part of the problem that drove many addicts
to turn to drugs and alcohol to self-medicate in the first
place.


A healthy life is not achieved via unrealistic expectations.
Holy-rollers and promised-land salvation are just another
junkie high that is doomed to let us down in the long run.


*******************************************

Secular and Sober: Beating Alcoholism Without AA

Appearances Aren't Everything

"Pay attention to how good we're being...while you're

here in front of us, at least!"

It's still gossip, even if you pretend you don't spread it.

It's still lying, even if you keep covering it up with new lies..

and haven't been caught yet....

and have everybody convinced.

It's still coercion, even if you keep a smile on your face.

It's still judgement, even if you smirk it softly,

or couch it with "I'm just trying to help."

It's still a clique, even if you really believe  you're superior.

It's still delusion, even if you fancy yourself special and right.

***

Easier Said Than Done

Unfortunately, demanding authenticity

won't make it happen.

We seem to be living in a world

that is more and more duplicitous

and false as the days go by.

Dealing with entire groups of addicts

is a pretty sure way of coming into contact

with some of the most unscrupulous

and unsavory characters around.

The majority of people in 12 Steps may be dry,

but the rest of their routine is pure show.

Just because someone says they are

a good person, presents themselves as rehabilitated,

promotes themselves as compassionate,

has the pretense of selflessness, and

postures as a spiritual person, that

does not make it so.

When dealing with sociopaths, narcissists,

pathological liars, con men, and zealots,

that's especially true.

No matter how sincere they seem,

no matter how charming and convincing

they are, and no matter how hard they work it,

a lie is still a lie.

No matter how beautifully it's crafted.

Fakes get away with hurting folks

precisely because they are so good at

what they do.

But a flawed copy can never replace an original,

and a hustle can never stand in for the real thing.

Don't believe the hype;

of course a con man is going to tell you

he's honest and sincere.

I've never met one yet that announced they were

getting ready to fleece you.

***