Thursday, March 3, 2011
Finding a Source of Power
We are all human. We all stumble. Anyone who says or
implies otherwise is proving they don't have all the answers
in their actions! You're going to be just fine, like the rest
of us. It doesn't always have to be 'pretty' to be done right.
As for a higher power; the premise of the AA organization
(which not all of its members cling to) can be GOOD; something
greater than yourself. I will emphasize that this need not be something
'outside' of yourself. The danger is in externalizing the power.
I find a HP in the socializing of the fellowship. I find a HP in working
towards being a more full and developed human being. My HP is
insight and love and compassion. It is whatever it needs to be to give
you strength and hope; and it is not 'devalued' because you may not refer to
it as 'God'. Your HP is also not something you have to discuss with
others in detail. It is not discounted based on others' inability to relate
or comprehend. It only has to work for you.
My Higher Power is self improvement and self-sufficiency, which
I never allowed myself to be. No more excuses. No more blame.
Taking responsibility and seeing my full worth and ability. No
more believing lies of powerlessness and weakness.
For me, I know there are a lot of HPs at work in the world;
The police, the sheriff, the government, the law makers, bosses,
landlords, shop owners; there are always those that have power
Why can't I extend that comprehension to the positive side of the
continuum and say that there are HPs in the form of friends, lovers,
happy thoughts, gifts, blessings, ideals, and more? Because those
things seem more impermanent than the distressing ones?
What things were happening before the drink? I know I can start by
letting destructive thought-processes in the door, and then start
changing patterns (sleeping, eating, etc.), avoiding sharing what's
going on in my head with another person, and so on. Those slippery
slopes are what lead to a fall.
This whole thing is a journey. The process of traveling--not the
destination--is where the work and the beauty come in. Give
yourself a break, and take care of today. Today is where the power
is; everything else is history or mystery.