Reminders: Not Heeding the Warning Signs



Watching a young person remain nonplussed
after suffering the very real ramifications of
active addiction this last week,
I figure this is a good one to share.

It's sad when the person embroiled in
chaos--and even those enabling them--
can't see the very clear signs.

Here's hoping for recognition of reality
sooner rather than later.

***



A desire to 'belong'

can make needy people

do crazy and dangerous acts.

***

"Liars Club;" (Secret) Kissing Cousins

A small victory occurred today;

Another flawed and failing agency filled with closeted homosexuals--
and based on repression and lies--admitted to many of its problems,
closed its doors, and offered a public apology for past harms caused
by their deceits and frauds. (Color me astonished!)

Exodus International, a delusional group dedicated to pretending that
homosexuality could be 'cured' (what the fuck ?!?) through belief in
'god' finally came forth and admitted it was all bullshit.

Take a note, alcoholics. Your bullshit fest can't last forever.

And your chickens will come home to roost.

(Although, this same thing happening with AA and NA seems unlikely.
When's the last time you saw an addict--dry or otherwise--take personal
responsibility for meaningful wrongdoing?)

(For a more indepth look at the vocal survivors of this group, and the
many obvious similarities to 12 Step Groups, check this out: "God & Gays" )

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The Dangers of Heightened Expectations

We are all of us-- in every way, and every sense--
damaged goods. Not worth any less or without
prospect of living good lives, but let's be frank;
Damaged...as anyone alive on this planet is.

There can be progress, but there is no mystical
transformation or supernatural healing. If reason
and perspective are tossed aside, mind-over-matter
and fanaticism can provide a new high that lasts
as long as an individual is willing to feed it, but that
is not the same as the false and misleading promise
of a reincarnated hooplah.

People born and raised in extreme conditions of
conflict, abuse, and neglect will never truly shed the
after-effects of such a living. We can choose to
have a life, and it can be better than we perhaps
imagined, but the scars stay with you.

To offer people blind, blanket hope for hope's sake
is cruel and defeatist. When people do all the work
prescribed by people in 'support groups' and find
themselves staring into the same despondent mirror,
that's the point where adherence to dogma is supposed
to hold sway over the individual and 'help them' start
'witnessing' the mirage.

"Oh--oh, yeah...I see it, too! It's just like you described!
Yes, I wanted it, and now it's here! "

These primitive social indoctrinations are fairly simple
and easily spotted; insinuation and manipulation employed
on a desperate and vulnerable person. Doting illicits warmth.
Repetition seals the deal.

The truth is, I personally will never again be able to let
someone else get close to me.

I'm only drawn to manipulative, dark-hearted bastards
who can't be trusted; nice guys don't register.

Those things are hard-wired into me no matter how many
hours of therapy or meditation I indulge in. Now, I've learned
how to identify and overcome immersion into these sick
habits, but the basis of what I feel will never change. So
I adjust my expectations for life.

But to suggest to folks that positive thinking and
repetitive thoughts will do any more than create a short-term
distraction is disingenuous. And to create the idea that a
bright, shining salvation is-a-coming is a straight-up lie.

But that's the typically selfish and self-serving alkie for ya....

It's not about giving up--it's about averting denial of the
fact that life is rough and will take some serious dedication.
Warts and all, you have to know thy self....and only then
can you be set free.

A dog and pony show won't change what's under the waters.

Game-playing doesn't make anybody a winner.

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I Look and I See; No Avoidance for Me

I see no shame in  being

able to say, forthrightly,

"Life kind of sucks,

a lot of the time, actually...

but I can still give it my best

and savor the good parts

and make peace with the inbetween

and fight my way through

the darkness."

Being a realist doesn't mean

that I'm apathetic or

resigned to failure;

it simply means that my best

is good enough

and I acknowledge hardship

for what it is; a natural part

of life.

No ribbons or flowery fantasy

required.

We are all of us

able to see the darkness

without being consumed by it.

***

Blast from the Past

This is 'tore-up-from-floor-up' because it's from

my own personal copy which I've been carrying around

about 20 years! It's all good--the message endures.

The Never-Ending To-Do List

I start my day with a hefty amount of work allotted on my "To Do"
list, and invariably, I'm lucky if one-third of it actually gets done--
on a good day!

But I don't sweat it. I do as much as I can, as best I can, and if
it gets done, great. If it doesn't, so be it. There's always tomorrow
to start off on a new list, with the old list's tasks carried over.

And along the way, new stuff gets added, old stuff has to be
done again, problems crop up, people clamor for your attention,
exhaustion sets in...and, well, you all know exactly how things
go with 'well-laid' plans. (Personally, I don't know 'well-laid' from
shit, but I'm just saying.)

And here's a little hint, in case you hadn't already figured it out
yourself; Shit NEVER gets finished!

There's always something popping up or lingering or resurfacing
or coming out of left field. It never ends.

So the key, perhaps, has to be maintaining cool while in the midst
of a never-ending to-do list, taking it as it comes, having a sense of
humor about it, blowing off what can't be gotten to, and learning to
not ride yourself for not getting it all done.

Recognize your limits. Be kind to yourself. Allow for your needs.

We aren't super-human, and pushing ourselves in an effort to prove
otherwise generally doesn't work out well!

Worry, at the end of the day, becomes a choice; do we stew over what
we have not accomplished, or bask in the pride of a job well done?

Nobody can do it all; don't believe the press or hype to the contrary.
Respect your abilities and your efforts.

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