Worth Reading

What sort of 'Friends' demand blind obedience?

Typically in groups of any sort, there is a prevailing
politic of 'acceptable behavior' and a specific mindset
that all are expected to maintain in order to be viewed
as  a 'part of' the group.

The maintenance of this common framework, or common
thinking, is crucial to the maintenance of the group's

integrity. One thing that is absolutely forbidden in such
a system is the asking of questions. Asking questions and

thinking independently are anathema to group think.

When questions start to arise in 12 step program, will

you follow group members' lead and silence or ignore
them? Or will you do due diligence and investigate
thoroughly for the sake of your well-being?

Questions like how much support would there be for you
if you left the program?

Or why is it that former members are spoken of with
such disdain?

What sort of 'helpers' tell you that you WILL drink, you
will get sick, and you will die if you leave their care?

Or deliver a message of lacking --proclaiming that you
cannot accomplish being well on your own?

 

(The easy answer is that it's people who care more for
their message and ideas than they do the actual people

receiving it.)

Real friends are glad for one of their own to graduate
to a better place, to move on in life to bigger and better

things...a normal, healthy part of life.

Healthy people recognize there are many different paths
to success, not a single, suffocating, stilted one.

Only sick people cling and condemn, become surly
when someone acts against their wishes. Only sick
people want to maintain control, and, barring that,
dismiss and maliciously gossip about someone they
'cared so deeply for' not too long ago.

Why would someone who cares for you Curse your
endeavors without them, rather than wish you all the
best and value your time with them?
(Remember; we often overlook obvious answers because
they're not easy or comfortable ones. Trust your gut.)

"Would such a person take your call if you needed a
shoulder? Or would you get their cold one?"

The only time that questions are found ill-fitting in
therapeutic settings (legitimate ones, mind you) is
when there is no answer to be given, or when the
answers don't fit the agenda of the 'care' providers.

Transparency is a must with all wellness efforts and recovery.

"Just shut up and do it" or "Stop thinking" are irresponsible,
unhealthy means to an end ...but not a beginning.

Control & Fear: The Real Sobering Reveal of 12 Steps

Nothing but snakes...and they're always more
dangerous when they pull together.
There's a reason they didn't trust each other
enough to stay together!

"JOIN OR DIE!"

Behind the pleasantries and posturing,

that's really what 12 steppers are all about.

The true and oh-so subtle and harmonious

cry of the eager-beavers and over-zealous

rabid watchdogs in the 12 Step movement.

Fear tactics, untruths, and a sideshow.

This slogan seems more befitting a Ugandan

army recruiter or a sci-fi resistance fighter than

an invitation to a safe, healing space.

Maybe the 12 steppers finally got their accuracy on!

How it Works

As long as there are

people desirous of letting

other people do their thinking

for them, not having to make

decisions for themselves, and

having someone (or something)

else be in charge,

12 Step Programs

will continue

to flourish.

Perpetuation

is not the same

as being proven.

***

Truth in Advertising

Like all Religion,

the Cult of 12 Step

promotes

that there is

only One Way,

One Truth,

One Light...

and all others

who cannot

'see their wisdom'

are lost.

Doesn't sound

like hope

(or any new message)

to me!

***

One of these things is not like the other

I've seen all sorts of change in the form of
new laws, new resolutions, new cities, and
new leases on life. Everything old eventually
comes back around to present itself anew.

And I know from personal experience and
witnessing the hard work of others that change
from active addiction to sobriety that such a
monumental change is possible. Even many times
over, if need be.

But while patterns can be broken, some things
in this world never change.

The basic nature of humanity isn't reformed, not
even by supernatural or magical means.

Liars, con-artists, and fundamentally fictitious
creations do not alter how they see and interact
with the world. Using and manipulating people
and twisting facts is not a sickness most can give
up once it has become their life.

The pretense of changing, certainly. Actual
personality change? Not so much. Turns out that's
harder than the pills and hooch to beat.

Fabrication cannot stand in for transformation.

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Where There's Smoke; The Danger of Words and Concepts

It isn't that the promotion of a concept like being
'brilliant, beautiful, divine creatures' is a bad notion.

It's that such ideas need not be dependent on a
specific set of rituals and subservience. The results
of loving one's self and being content come from
internally, not externally.

There is no one's permission--earthly or otherwise--
required for people to begin caring for self. No one's
forgiveness required. No one's approval nor control
needed for folks to start loving themselves.

The idea that the key to freedom is through protocol
or one exclusive school of thought or following precisely
in others' footsteps is erroneous as well as dangerous.

Take care of yourself...
Believe in yourself...
No gimmicks required.
No allegiances prescribed.
No more declaring yourself worthless or mentally deficient or
insane or lousy or whatever cluster fuck of low self-esteem
helped bring you low in the first place.

You're just human.
Roll with it.

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