What sort of 'Friends' demand blind obedience?

Typically in groups of any sort, there is a prevailing
politic of 'acceptable behavior' and a specific mindset
that all are expected to maintain in order to be viewed
as  a 'part of' the group.

The maintenance of this common framework, or common
thinking, is crucial to the maintenance of the group's

integrity. One thing that is absolutely forbidden in such
a system is the asking of questions. Asking questions and

thinking independently are anathema to group think.

When questions start to arise in 12 step program, will

you follow group members' lead and silence or ignore
them? Or will you do due diligence and investigate
thoroughly for the sake of your well-being?

Questions like how much support would there be for you
if you left the program?

Or why is it that former members are spoken of with
such disdain?

What sort of 'helpers' tell you that you WILL drink, you
will get sick, and you will die if you leave their care?

Or deliver a message of lacking --proclaiming that you
cannot accomplish being well on your own?

 

(The easy answer is that it's people who care more for
their message and ideas than they do the actual people

receiving it.)

Real friends are glad for one of their own to graduate
to a better place, to move on in life to bigger and better

things...a normal, healthy part of life.

Healthy people recognize there are many different paths
to success, not a single, suffocating, stilted one.

Only sick people cling and condemn, become surly
when someone acts against their wishes. Only sick
people want to maintain control, and, barring that,
dismiss and maliciously gossip about someone they
'cared so deeply for' not too long ago.

Why would someone who cares for you Curse your
endeavors without them, rather than wish you all the
best and value your time with them?
(Remember; we often overlook obvious answers because
they're not easy or comfortable ones. Trust your gut.)

"Would such a person take your call if you needed a
shoulder? Or would you get their cold one?"

The only time that questions are found ill-fitting in
therapeutic settings (legitimate ones, mind you) is
when there is no answer to be given, or when the
answers don't fit the agenda of the 'care' providers.

Transparency is a must with all wellness efforts and recovery.

"Just shut up and do it" or "Stop thinking" are irresponsible,
unhealthy means to an end ...but not a beginning.

Truth in Advertising

Like all Religion,

the Cult of 12 Step

promotes

that there is

only One Way,

One Truth,

One Light...

and all others

who cannot

'see their wisdom'

are lost.

Doesn't sound

like hope

(or any new message)

to me!

***

Doug Stanhope - "AA Is A Poorly Constructed Cult and Doesn't Work"

Cult Watch: The Bondage of Alcoholics Anonymous

A.A. teaches Dependence, not autonomy or independence.

They teach that you 'Require' their help.
That you 'Require' meeting attendance.

That only another 'like-minded' person within program can help you.

(Sponsors should be called handlers, or wranglers, since their real job is

to extol the virtues of the program, espouse dependence on a fictional

'HP,' and to lay aside all questions/doubts about program. In addition, of
course, to promoting their own individual agenda.)

Whether it's repetition of the same tired euphemisms, contempt for
different information, scare tactics, or a glimpse of the shame-based
dismissal that will occur if you turn your back on the program and its
teachings, the 'sponsor' is the AA apologist and glue that keeps the faulty
thinking in place when meetings are not being held. They tell the doubting
Thomases what they need to hear to help them fall back in line and 'get
with the program.'

 

Adding the edge of egotism that all this dogma is deity-originated and

backed gives followers the dramatic push to sway scared newcomers.

They'll tell you they're selfless and humble, but they get high on being in

the self-appointed 'soul-saving' business....and 'God' save you if you don't

believe the hype.

 

******************************************************

Consistency & Double Standards

People in A.A. and Al-Anon in particular like to
point to a theory prescribed in the Big Book as
'other people's opinions being none of their business.'
In other words; Mind Your Own Business.

(A little contradictory, given that the whole purpose
of the organization has become to insert themselves
wholly into other people's business. But, seeing as how
the Big Book never advocated or even mentioned
having sponsors, no actual conflict there.)

Nonetheless, this ideal of 'not interfering' is used to
overlook (and be complicit about) abuses that occur
within the program. In fact, abuses that are promoted by
the very structure and dynamic of such a program.

Members can see evil being done by a predator and
simply cover their eyes, ears, and mouth. Look the
other way and avoid responsibility because the Doctrine
of Bill Wilson told them to.

Done. Justified. Verily, as if the Lord Hizzonor himself
had decreed it.

So predators get a free pass and victims get no help.

So I got to thinking how that "M.M.O.B." standard
would play for these folks in the real world, all things being
equal. (And, 12 Step definitely being detached from the
real world.)

If they hear someone in an alley being raped, they will
mind their business and not call for help or intervene?

If their neighbors house catches fire, will they just turn
over and go back to sleep?

See a store being robbed while they're driving and just
ignore it and turn up the radio?

Or is this just more ill-conceived self-deceiving contradictory
craziness from the minds of dry drunks, designed to further
falsely promote the sense of righteousness and infallibility of
the vaunted Program? To ensure that the predators who run
the joint continue to get away with every dark deed, and play
off the silence as 'spirituality?'

As if.

*****************************************************************************

AA Secrets #1

What are you afraid of?

The Emperor's New Clothes

Under the shell...

...is a bitter pill.

A.A. members like to say, wistfully,
that there are 'beautiful mysteries'
inherent in their program.

They say that the Big Book and the
program are full of 'paradoxes,'
which is really just another way of
saying 'conundrums' or 'contradictions.'

Since that's more honest, let's go with that;
Contradictions and conundrums.
(It is, after all, supposed to be an honest
program....just run by liars and thieves; I
don't know how that's supposed to work!)

A lie is a lie, no matter how you dress it up.

A.A. peddles inconsistencies, bullshit, and
false hope. That's all.

No matter how they dress it up, a con is still
a con. And the worst of the worst can't even
run their own lives...that's why they're looking
to run yours.

Fore-warned is fore-armed.

**********************************