Many Rivers to Cross

Everyone living is doing the best they can,

or the best they know how to do.

None of us came with a rule book, and we're

all on a journey to find out exactly what path--

or, more likely, series of paths--are right for us.

'Right' being a subjective term since things

change as we grow, experience, reflect, and

face consequences.

The world is made up of a constant procession of

difficult, unenviable questions and decisions that

usually have to be made in imperfect circumstances with

insufficient input. We can hypothesize about what is

the 'best' course of action for ourselves, our loved ones,

our future, and what results the choices may bring...

but ultimately there is no knowing.

We're thankful when it works out, and we roll

with the punches and try not to be consumed

with regret when they don't.

But life is filled with conflict, confusion, grey areas,

unknowns, and super-complicated messes with no

easy, fun, or clear-cut solutions. It's all about making

the best of what you have and seeing where it all ends up!

(If you're lucky, you'll survive it to be able to learn from

any mistakes.)

But lives and people are all unique, and choices are

extremely personal. What works for one likely won't

work for another, since the number of variables between

two people is exponentially high. So applying a cookie

cutter, boxed 'fix-it' to everything isn't likely to work.

But uncertainty is very unsexy to us.

So when people start talking about absolutes, and 'either-or'

extremes of black-and-white thinking, applying a set

response to ever-changing stimuli, you can understand

why they would want to.

The idea of there being a knowable, simplified,

notion of 'right' and 'wrong' with no give inbetween, just these

fixed standards...it's appealing to folks, even if difficult.

And that's fine. But when they start making proclamations

about said absolutes, letting others know that they aren't

living or thinking 'correctly' (according to them)

 and need to do exactly what they

do in order to have things turn out right (in fact, as

'intended',) that just takes the cake.

And some want to impose that your life is at risk--

including your afterlife!--

for not following their notion?

Pfffft....Alcoholic, please.

If some need structure and order and a permanent system

in place so they feel better--so that they can better

survive this world--so be it.

But when you start passing judgment on how others cope,

or running them down for not buying in to what

you're selling, that's when it gets personal..

and that's when you open yourself up to attack.

When you lay it out in absolutes,

expect resistance.

***

The Power and Push of Loneliness

Loneliness is a powerful fear. It's a part of what drives every
person, and is a part of every person's life--to varying extent--
from cradle to grave.

Many suffer from it without being acutely aware, and attempt
to disperse the anxiety of loneliness with a suitcase of 'medicinal'
or situational alleviations that might even work as distraction,
for a while.

But eventually, as people die and friends depart, as we grow
older and find it less easy to connect (or hell, just even meet
new people!) we recognize that our loneliness is just a part of
the ride, like so many other things we must accept linked to the
human condition.

Fundamental loneliness is understood by cults across the globe,
and preying on it is an important aspect of indoctrinating folks
into their fold.

Typical ruse; come on strong, effusively generous, accommodating,overly interested, big smiles, empty promises. Pretenses aplenty.
Best behavior to impress and inculcate.

Once they get you connived, convinced, and regulated, attention
is relaxed and now if you want any positive recognition or strokes
you have to jump through hoops, pull your weight, and recite the
teachings ...self-regulating the dictates and indoctrinating the new
recruits. Because 'same page' thinking is the only true goal of the
program.

Rewire. Assimilate. 'Differently educate.'
Not actually help; 'help' is only available to those who are willing to
be rewritten in their view.

In the eyes of 12 Step groups, if you aren't part of their particular
outlook, you aren't part of their circle. You're either with them or
against them. If you aren't part of their 'solution,' you don't have a
solution.

Trained animals, begging for scraps and treats. That's not how anyonewants to live, but of course, giving in is the answer they provide to
you. Before the warmth is withdrawn.

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