Seeing Past the Smoke-Screen

When I find myself in the grip of a deteriorating mood for a day...
or a week...a case of the blahs, all the way to depression,
...I have to recognize the finite nature of those feelings.

No matter how prevalent they seem in the moment.

I have to actively, aggressively step back and remind myself that
the specific time--that whelming emotion--is not the end of the world...
(nor is it indicative of my future.)

 It is a moment in time.
An aspect of life, on the spectrum of it.
A pendulum swing in an ever-cycling world of events, emotion, circumstance.

This too will fall away, give birth to another, revert to type, lessen in
intensity...but it is not the end-all, be-all that my mind and my fear make
it out to be.

We are, in any given experience, only upon a pinpoint of time.
Nothing lasts forever.

Remembering that, and achieving perspective, takes effort.
And practice. But keeping my head allows me to refrain from responding
(or reacting) in fear or discomfort. I can make conscious choices that are
not reflective of my momentary despair and frustration...and thus
avoid creating further misery.

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You Find What You Look For

Why do we use?

What drove us to drink?

What are we avoiding?

Facing these daunting and indepth questions is facing reality,
and at some point it's a necessity for recovery.

Coping with them is vital to any form of success.

A.A., with its all-or-nothing, one-stop, one- size-fits-all mentality
and expectations is harmful.

"I guess you think that's a revolving door."

"Guess we'll keep letting you back in."
"How's that working out for ya?"
"You can't make it work without this program."

Bitter jabs and persecutory, passive-aggressive attacks on people

coming to the group do real and lasting harm. Over-concentrated,
dogmatic, single-track thinking has always been the bane and the
end of many an addict, and having these harsh detriments glossed
over with 'good intentions' and a pretense of happiness doesn't change
their toxicity.

If you imagine that there is only one path to recovery, you condemn
not only others, but yourself. This militancy is adverse to the new
and open views that people in recovery need to be bringing about.

Only when consciousness is expanded to the point that we see
beyond the already-agreed upon notions and ideas can we find
a new version of life. We don't protect our ideas by building walls
around them; we prevent ourselves from growing.

What you see as real is what will become a reality for you;
every time you speak of powerlessness, you bring it into being.

Every time you speak ill of another's chances, you bring that dark
possibility closer to existence.

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What Lies Beneath

"Zowie! A fresh coat of paint and this place will
be good as new!"

Some folks feel that a fresh coat of paint and a few tweaks to
the outer shell can shine enough of a good light to distract
from the dingy and dismal greys that lie beneath such a surface.

They imagine the facade to 'be the thing,' and pour time and
money into the covering up of poor construction, rather than
the fixing of the destruction. (Image can never substitute for
substance, though some folks seem to miss that lesson time
and time again.)

There's a vast difference between repairing or replacing a
faulty foundation, and simply remodeling one.

After all, if you spread rose petals over a pile of dog shit, you
still smell dog shit, the shit didn't change into roses, and it's
only an illegitimate quick 'fix.'

You have to get to the core of things, not just cover up disasters,
destruction, and dysfunction... and hope no one digs too deeply.

A fresh coat of paint may look pretty, but the rotted wood under
it will continue to deteriorate, no matter people's impressions.

*****************************************************************************

The Bullshit Factor

"You're suffering from a

spiritual and moral dilemma....

Just call on Jesus and pray the

trouble away!"

Let me know how that works out for ya!

Laid Bare

What makes one person use while another doesn't?

That's one of those extremely personal, significant
questions that hardly ever seems to get adequate coverage.

Perhaps we could ask "What 'creates' the make-up of
an addict? What circumstances and life paths lead to a
culmination of addictive personality?"

There are certainly similar characteristics that most
addicts seem to share; sensitivity, vulnerability, overly
insightful to life's machinations--yet unable to perform
what others might call 'normal tasks.' There's difficulty
maintaining relationships, inability to connect in real and
meaningful ways, being closed off emotionally, and so on.

None of these would seem to owe anything to a biological
or genetic component, surely.

At the root of all the most common addictive personality
traits could be said to be one commonality that ties it all
together; An inability to express emotions in a healthy manner.

Obviously not every addictive person is a cookie-cutter
or has the same history or experience, but this component
seems suited to most who grapple with the demons.

However, a commonality in dilemma does not necessitate a
common solution. These are complex matters. Let's start a
dialogue about where we all originate from; these aspects of
us never seem to be completely obliterated. All of our diversity
and different experiences makes it hard, but understanding
that recovery is not a "One Size Fits All" process is a good
place to start.

********************************************

Cult Watch: The Bondage of Alcoholics Anonymous

A.A. teaches Dependence, not autonomy or independence.

They teach that you 'Require' their help.
That you 'Require' meeting attendance.

That only another 'like-minded' person within program can help you.

(Sponsors should be called handlers, or wranglers, since their real job is

to extol the virtues of the program, espouse dependence on a fictional

'HP,' and to lay aside all questions/doubts about program. In addition, of
course, to promoting their own individual agenda.)

Whether it's repetition of the same tired euphemisms, contempt for
different information, scare tactics, or a glimpse of the shame-based
dismissal that will occur if you turn your back on the program and its
teachings, the 'sponsor' is the AA apologist and glue that keeps the faulty
thinking in place when meetings are not being held. They tell the doubting
Thomases what they need to hear to help them fall back in line and 'get
with the program.'

 

Adding the edge of egotism that all this dogma is deity-originated and

backed gives followers the dramatic push to sway scared newcomers.

They'll tell you they're selfless and humble, but they get high on being in

the self-appointed 'soul-saving' business....and 'God' save you if you don't

believe the hype.

 

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"Danger, Willful Donalsonvillians"

If you're in the Donalsonville, Georgia area

(or Southeast Alabama area,

or Bainbridge, Georgia,

or the Tri-State area in general)

be sure to take heed of this warning.

The single public phone number

for this area (Area 16, District 1, Zone A,)

the Seminole Group, is for the

King of all Toxic and Psychopathic

Issues.

Do Not Come In Contact,

for your own safety.

As mentioned before, the level of one's

involvement (immersion) in A.A. is pretty well

proportionate to that person's absolute

detachment from reality.

Avoidance of personal responsibility,

absorption in negative and harmful

personal agendas, sick and controlling

actions, abuse of others, and dry drunk

specials on the lose in Cray-Cray Town.

You name it. That's what's on the menu at the

Donalsonville A.A. meetings...and anywhere

else the Sicko chooses to travel with

his mess of lies, seduction, and

psychosis.

But mostly he likes the phone.

Being the sole contact for hurting, scared, needy,

vulnerable, weak, young boys as they seek refuge.

No witnesses, no authority, no review.

People call for help, and depending

on what you look like and your age,

you get a hell of a lot more

than you bargained for.

Forewarned is forearmed.

If it/they seem too good to be true,

you know it can't be good.

A man of two minds is dangerous

to all he comes in contact with.

****