Creating Our Niche

"You are getting weaker...so weak....and need a special friend..."

In all humans, there is a need to belong, a

need to be deemed worthwhile, a need to

be acknowledged , and a need to be needed.

Like most things, though, addictive personality

folks like myself have an increased sense of all

those desires.

It's part of the deep, dark, incessant desire of

an addict..to be Needed.

There is a sense of that emptiness in us that

cannot be filled unless we are enmeshed with

another person, a project, an all-consuming job,

a deeply-held belief system.

We need validation and acceptance more than most.

(And for some of us, learning that it can only

come from within takes a lifetime!)

But in order to be needed, neediness must first

exist in others. It must be found, isolated, enhanced,

cultivated, ensured, or manufactured, if need be.

(If you haven't learned to be complete,

 devoid of artificial means.)

If we don't maintain healthy connection to our own

value through self-validation or involvement in a variety

of community or world interests, we can become

obsessive or even fanatical about connection to some

specific thing or person.

Dependent on them, or it, for our sustenance, even

as we deny such a reality. Just like when the drugs

and alcohol had their hold.

People who would create a seeming 'need' for their

services in the minds of the very people they're

purportedly 'helping,' are only catering to their own needs.

The image maintained may be one of helpful compassion

and charity, but they're massaging their own egos and deep-

seated fears and disconnectedness by building themselves

up as a messenger or benefactor of the highest order.

If someone makes a living out of painting themselves as

a generous, well-meaning soul merely visiting sympathies

and salvation on weary world-travelers, be afraid.

And then recognize that you can save your own liberated self.

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