Saturday, May 28, 2011
like the 12 Steps Programs in that capacity. Trying to make what others
said worked fit into my life. Listening to the words that others swore by.
Following the men and women who said they had answers I, too, could
But it wasn't a one-size-fits-all. How could it be? We are each of us
unique and wondrous. One person's answer cannot fit everyone, and as
I learned the hard way, forcing it doesn't make it fit any better.
Yeah, I used the dreaded U word. Uniqueness, like ego and selfishness,
is not a dirty word. It gets a bad rap in program, but that doesn't
make it so. Like any word, like any concept, it can be taken to an
extreme of toxic use. In and of itself though, it's a beautiful thing.
Much like our lives, it simply is. What we do with it makes all the difference.
When I tried to emulate others, I wound up with a life that was not my
own. When I followed others, I ended up in a place I did not belong.
When I trusted others instead of myself, I found answers that didn't fit my
problems. There is a blessing to being alone on the journey. No one else can
determine who we are or where we are going. No matter what their experience
or level of smarts. Some things just aren't ours to know; other people fit into
No matter how well-intentioned, "Follow me" has a dastardly insidious ring to it.
That old alcoholic standby, The Ego, is at heart of wanting to lead and mold and
tell others how to be. That isn't something for instruction. It's something for
discovery. Maybe some are content to be the lesser being in a codependent dance
of sickies, but I have other needs.
Even if no other knows them or understands them, I respect and answer to my