"But what had really happened was...."

There's what you see, what I see, what I think you see,

what you think I see, what others think happened, what

others say they think happened, what really happened,

the part we're capable of understanding having really happened,

and so on. No wonder every one's confused!

***

It's meant as compliment I'm sure, but there is a line of

commenting that rather irks me; It goes like this:

 "You're so strong--look at what you've been through"

or

"You're so much stronger than I am.  I couldn't do

what you can," or some variation thereof.

 

Well, I'm still going through shit, just like everyone else.

Comments like that are an exit strategy, an effort to

forego the responsibility of facing what we are all capable

of facing, within ourselves.

 

It's choice. All the way, choice...and not at all easy.

 

I have been in the deepest, darkest depths, consumed by

grief, loneliness, depression, despair...devoured by my

circumstance and a lack of any insight on how to get out

from under.

 

I have been confused, full of doubt, wavering, aimless,

feeling no sense of worth...the bullshit of life and the attacks

of others threatening to extinguish my fight. I am not invulner-

able, nor dispossessed of a soul. I have felt these things.

 

Bit by painful bit, learning new ways, realizing my doubt

and despair and fear were learned and could be unlearned.

I made it through. Choosing to believe in myself to make it

possible.

 

I became stronger by choosing to be stronger, and that

started the process of transformation.

 

That's the message I have; we are not limited to what we

were or the worst we believe about ourselves. We are not

predetermined for weakness. We go where the belief and

commitment lies, and it can start with nothing but a faint and

inconsistent effort...struggling, barely heard, returning again

and again.

 

If I made it look easy, remember to not be so easily fooled!

 

I possess nothing that isn't in every one of us;

Nothing is as it seems.

 

Greatness isn't divined or imparted, it isn't a gift of birth;

it's taken by force. No one can grant it to you but you.

 

Find your inner strength today. Dare to.

 

********************************************