Friday, July 22, 2011
The theme of the last few weeks for me has seemed to
be that even under the pretense of vast differences, it's
the commonalities that really shine.
Your armor may differ from my armor.
My issues may manifest in a different
way from your issues.
My fears may show in different ways from yours.
All of the specifics and particulars may indeed appear
quite divergent. But behind that distraction is the real
deal; shattered, struggling, hurting, imperfect people
trying their best to figure out what the hell to do next.
Who cares what answer another comes to if it works
for them? Why on earth would we all come to the same
conclusion? And if something works for me but isn't
understood or valued by another, who cares?
As always, it's easy to find compassion for ourselves,
even as we comprehend the utter trainwreck we are. We
are nonetheless familiar with our own junk.
But other people, with their eccentricities, refusal to listen
to our 'brilliance,' and their real-world rough edges...
well, respect gets lost in the mix somehow.
Instead of looking for understanding regarding intricacies
of each person...instead of taking things apart and seeking
an Answer or Explanation.....at the end of the day I just
have to be kind. Be compassionate. Be understanding.
Whether the same is returned to me or not.
It seems simplicity itself. But in the face of stridency,
disagreement, insults, the unfamiliar, and stress, well...
I can tend to take anything as an attack. But thinking it
doesn't make it so.
Today I want to remember the common theme of
struggle and pain, and not be distracted by the
illusory importance of difference.
Another thought I once heard that resonated greatly;
"Those who seem the least 'deserving' of kindness
and compassion are those who need it the most."
I've been that person. Why can't I remember that
look? Why can't I hold fast to looking past the gruff
exterior to do what's needed?