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| "You are getting weaker...so weak....and need a special friend..." |
In all humans, there is a need to belong, a
need to be deemed worthwhile, a need to
be acknowledged , and a need to be needed.
Like most things, though, addictive personality
folks like myself have an increased sense of all
those desires.
It's part of the deep, dark, incessant desire of
an addict..to be Needed.
There is a sense of that emptiness in us that
cannot be filled unless we are enmeshed with
another person, a project, an all-consuming job,
a deeply-held belief system.
We need validation and acceptance more than most.
(And for some of us, learning that it can only
come from within takes a lifetime!)
But in order to be needed, neediness must first
exist in others. It must be found, isolated, enhanced,
cultivated, ensured, or manufactured, if need be.
(If you haven't learned to be complete,
devoid of artificial means.)
If we don't maintain healthy connection to our own
value through self-validation or involvement in a variety
of community or world interests, we can become
obsessive or even fanatical about connection to some
specific thing or person.
Dependent on them, or it, for our sustenance, even
as we deny such a reality. Just like when the drugs
and alcohol had their hold.
People who would create a seeming 'need' for their
services in the minds of the very people they're
purportedly 'helping,' are only catering to their own needs.
The image maintained may be one of helpful compassion
and charity, but they're massaging their own egos and deep-
seated fears and disconnectedness by building themselves
up as a messenger or benefactor of the highest order.
If someone makes a living out of painting themselves as
a generous, well-meaning soul merely visiting sympathies
and salvation on weary world-travelers, be afraid.
And then recognize that you can save your own liberated self.
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